dcruzin.com

Do I feel any different today than yesterday? Not in particular. Yet today is a day of some reflection for me. I’ve now lived in Seattle for 18 months. I’ve been out of school for 21 months. At the same time, college doesn’t seem so long ago, and yet I feel like so many things have happened since then. From a year ago, I can certainly say that I’ve found a community here in Seattle. Friends at work, my church, from school and people I meet randomly have been a huge blessing to me. I am truly grateful for all the people I’ve gotten to know since moving to Seattle. At the same time, I’ve been able to keep in touch with some friends from high school and college thanks to the power of the internets and multiple trips back to the Bay Area and Houston. So, I’m thankful for all of you as well.

Sometimes I feel all mature and grown-up, worrying about taxes, bills and other grown-up stuff. And other times I just want to play video games, stay up all night reading a good book, or I have irrational thoughts and want to act infantile. I realize that I still have a long way to go. But I think that’s a good thing; I don’t ever want to stop feeling like a kid at heart.

Some exciting things to look forward to this year include running the Vancouver marathon, developing my photography business, establishing a nonprofit to benefit kids’ education in the Philippines, and more. I’m excited about the dreams, visions, and goals God has put on my heart, and I hope that I continue to get the great support I’ve been receiving from my friends.

I feel old in a way. I always have looked up to my brother Oliver, and a lot of my memories of him are from his early twenties when he was teaching high school science, and before he was diagnosed with colon cancer. You see, it wasn’t long after his 25th birthday that doctors told him that cancer would claim his life within 2 years. Luckily he decided to follow his heart and ‘throw away’ his Chemical Engineering degree and follow his passion for teaching. In another year, I’ll be 25 - the age he found out his life was beginning to end. Am I following my heart? Am I motivated by my passions? I think I’m doing these things to a certain degree, but I realize that life is finite. We honestly don’t know how long we’ll be here for.

Here’s me trying to look all reflective while admiring the Hawaiian landscape last year.

I titled my post with the beginning lyrics of the song ‘24′ by Switchfoot. I never really thought about the lyrics, but since I’m celebrating this number today, maybe I can reflect a little bit on them, among other things. The last verse goes:

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You’re raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts

A lot of these things are true for me. I want to see miracles and change the world. And yet I know it’s not for my glory, but for God’s. I have a lot of crazy ideas and passions and I trust that He’ll guide me along the way.

7 Comments »

I didn’t grow up in the Chinese culture celebrating Lunar New Year, but I have enough friends who had the red enevelopes of money that made me jealous enough. But, now I’m just glad I get to celebrate with friends over Dim Sum and Hot Pot. I was reminded of the fact that today marks the beginning of the Year of the Rat, which is my Zodiac sign. Since the zodiac repeats every 12 years, I guess 24 is going to be a pretty awesome - I mean otherwise I have to wait another 12 years. At age 12, I was in like 7th grade or something. Random middle school memories include:

• Running for 6th grade student council treasurer, winning, and then getting the money box stolen under my nose during a fundraiser
• Winning the school spelling bee, and the getting out in the first round at district (no, I will not embarrass myself and tell you which word I lost on). Alas that Microsoft Word and autocomplete have rendered my spelling skills mediocre at best.
• Using AOL back when it was pay-by-hour and getting grounded by my dad for running up a $100+ bill one month.

If you went to school with me back then, feel free to jog my memory on anything else notable. At age 36, I wonder what crazy things I’ll remember from when I was 24…

Back to the Chinese Zodiac, I found this from Wikipedia, so take note, my fellow rats (I know there are a bunch of you): 

Being the first sign of the Chinese zodiacs, rats are leaders, pioneers and conquerors. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking. Rat people are endowed with great leadership skills and are the most highly organized, meticulous, and systematic of the twelve signs. Intelligent and cunning at the same time, rats are highly ambitious and strong-willed people who are keen and unapologetic promoters of their own agendas, which often include money and power. They are energetic and versatile and can usually find their way around obstacles, and adapt to various environments easily. A rat’s natural charm and sharp demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone, but rats are usually highly exclusive and selective when choosing friends and so often have only a few very close friends whom they trust.

Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. These people tend to have immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit others, both emotionally and mentally. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculative and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way. Rats need to learn to relax sometimes, as they can be quite obsessed with detail, intolerant and strict, demanding order, obedience, and perfection.

Rats consider others before themselves, at least sometimes, and avoid forcing their ideas onto others. Rats are fair in their dealings and expect the same from others in return, and can be deeply affronted if they feel they have been deceived or that their trust has been abused. Sometimes they set their targets too high, whether in relation to their friends or in their career. But as the years pass, they will become more idealistic and tolerant. If they can develop their sense of self and realize it leaves room for others in their life as well, Rats can find true happiness.

According to tradition, Rats often carry heavy karma and at some point in life may face an identity crisis or some kind of feeling of guilt. Rats are said to often have to work very long and hard for everything they may earn or have in life. However, a Rat born during the day is said to have things a bit easier than those who are born at night. Traditionally, Rats born during the night may face extreme hardships and suffering throughout life. Rats in general should guard themselves against hedonism, as it may lead to self-destruction. Gambling, alcohol and drugs tend to be great temptations to Rat natives.

So basically, I guess we’re passionate, ambitious, vengeful, selectively altruistic and love Las Vegas. Sweet. What do you think the year of the Rat is going to be like?

2 Comments »

I know that many of you have been anxiously asking me what this countdown is all about since I started posting it on my status 10 days ago. Well, the suspense is finally over, because I’ve been waiting to re-launch my new blog (with more frequent updates) here at this new address (so please update your links on your blogs), and I figured I’d announce a pretty big day for me (well kind of).

[photo courtesy of kk+]

It’s 90 days left until the Vancouver Marathon on May 4, which I plan to run with my friend Derek. Oh, I guess I should probably clarify that we’re only running the half-marathon. Yeah, I know it’s kind of cheating to say I’m running a marathon when I’m only going to run a half-marathon. But today marks the first day of my 90 day training period. I’m following Hal Higdon’s Half Marathon Training Program for novice runners. It’s a 12 week program, and I have 13 weeks, so I guess I’ll do the first week twice or something. It starts off with about 10 miles/week and ramps up to around 25 miles/week which really isn’t that bad. I mean I played soccer for 10 years when I was little and during most of High School. And my freshman year I was even on the cross-country team. But yeah, that was a long time ago. So I’ll be posting my progress here every once in awhile. Feel free to comment or IM me and ask my how my training is going. I’m definitely going to need support and accountability to stay on track.

I’ve been meaning to get in better shape since I got out of college, and I’ve done alright, but this is a chance to really Go Big or Go Home. So to motivate myself I just put out a pretty difficult goal and I know I gotta get there. I also wanted to run for a special cause. I’m not going to talk about it much until March when I start serious fundraising, but I want to raise money in honor of my older brother Oliver who passed away from colon cancer in 2006 at age 28. So when I start raising money in March, I’ll post some more about the Oliver Cruz Memorial Fund which goes to benefit colon cancer research at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston where he was treated.

I know that there will be some tough times and some pain I’ll go through in training and during the actual half-marathon itself. But I know that this pain is nothing compared to what Oliver faced. His life inspired me to do something great with mine. This is a small step. I’m just getting started.

2 Comments »